Rule #1: Don’t assume that God is necessarily one of the characters in the parable.
Rule #2: Don’t assume that the parable is trying to tell you how to improve your life.
Rule #3: Don’t assume that you’re the goodie in the story (and that other people are the baddies).
Rule #4: If you can explain the whole parable without mentioning the words “kingdom of God,” you’re probably doing it wrong.
Rule #5: If it ends up having anything to do with going to heaven when we die, you’re probably doing it wrong
Rule #6: If Jesus seems more like a headmaster giving orders than like a comedian cracking jokes, you’re probably doing it wrong.
Rule #7: If you feel perfectly confident and untroubled while expounding the parable, you’re probably doing it wrong.
Rule #8: If your sermon on the parable leaves people with nothing to look forward to and nothing to hope for, you’re probably doing it wrong.
Rule #9: Now go back and repeat Rule 3 (because every preacher forgets this at least once in every sermon).
Rule #10: Finally, if you’ve preached a lousy sermon, just remember: as long as the parable was read aloud before you started, it won’t be a total loss.
Rule number one – broken with parables dealing with the rich man and lazarus, the farmer and the seeds, the farmer’s son, the wedding and the king, etc.
Rule number two – I broke with the parable of the two sons as to which one the father loved the most
Rule number three – I broke this one when I asserted myself as that “stranger at the gate” (lazarus)!
Rule number four – I broke this parable on the good samaritan as well as with the two sons
Rule number five – I broke this with the rich man and lazarus and I also broke this with the king’s wedding
Rule number six – I broke this one when interpreting the parable about the tax-collector and there was something about prison and the king sent some guy back to prison for over-taxing another dude (it was a parable about forgiveness)
Rule number seven – I’ve broken this rule too many times to count
Rule number eight – oh, the one about the harvest in matthew 13, been there, broken that!
Rule number nine – one time, I was the good samaritan
Rule number ten – well fortunately, I’ve never preached a sermon
I’ve broken ninety percent of the rules. How many yards back does that set my team (well…it is super bowl sunday 🙂 )
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Ah yes, I’ve also honoured these rules more in the breach than in the observance. (Though I wish I could say the same about #10!) Probably my favourite things about the parables are those little tell-tale signs that show that, at times, even the evangelists who recorded these sayings had no idea what they meant!
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Ben, if you been a member of one of my parishes, I would have inspired to to formulate dozens and dozens of rules of good preaching. 🙂
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What a team we’d be! 😉
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I’ll start right to work on some bad sermons, Ben. 😆
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found some good sermons…
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Sermon
didn’t realize how a bad translation of deut. 14:21 can end up becoming quite the laugh.
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#10 – good stuff.
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