Protestant Chicken Jokes

Greg Boyd: It’s a possibility that the chicken crossed the road.

Rick Warren: The chicken was purpose driven.

Mark Driscoll: Because of the rooster’s leadership.

Rachel Held Evans: We’re talking about chickens here, not pigs.

Pelagius: Because the chicken was able to.

John Piper: God decreed the event to maximize his glory.

Irenaeus: The glory of God is the chicken fully alive.

C.S. Lewis: If a chicken finds itself with a desire that nothing on this side can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that it was created for the other side.

Billy Graham: The chicken was surrendering all.

Pluralist: The chicken took one of many equally valid roads.

Universalist: All chickens cross the road.

Annihilationist: The chicken was hit by a car and ceased to exist.

Fred Phelps: God hates chickens.

Martin Luther: The chicken was leaving Rome.

Tim LaHaye: The chicken didn’t want to be left behind.

Harold Camping: Don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched.

James White: I reject chicken centered eisegesis.

John Wesley: The chicken’s heart was strangely warmed.

Thomas: I won’t believe the chicken crossed unless I see it with my own eyes.

Philip: The chicken teleported to the other side.

Rob Bell: The chicken. Crossed the road. To get. Cool glasses.

(HatTip: https://goo.gl/XhGPGl)

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27 Responses to Protestant Chicken Jokes

  1. Ha! Hilarious!!!!!
    …………….The beauty is in the crossing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dawkins: The chicken was actually delusional when it thought that it wanted to cross the road and in reality, was acting from a selfish genetic impulse.

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  3. AR says:

    Love the Philip.

    Jonathan Edwards: Actually crossing the road was the only proper and mature proof the chicken could make of his true inclination.

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  4. Jonathan says:

    Kierkegaard: The chicken didn’t cross the road so much as leap it. This is in fact the only way to get to the other side of the road, for there is an infinite qualitative distinction between the one side and the other.

    William Blake: The chicken will not cease from crossing the road until she has built Jerusalem in England’s green and pleasant land.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jrj1701 says:

    Fr. Aidan, i have been trying to come up with a chicken crossing the road statement for Fr. Stephan Freeman, yet I am stumped. Could you help?

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  6. Some of these don’t exactly answer the question as to why the chicken crossed the road.

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  7. AR says:

    Hannah Hurnard: the chicken crossed the road so that, having reached the other side, she could re-cross in an act of joyous self- abandonment.

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  8. lcgeen says:

    Reblogged this on Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea and commented:
    Today’s humor. 🙂

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  9. soren-k says:

    I had no idea that Irenaeus was a Protestant.

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