Why did the ecclesial chicken cross the road?

The Catholic: She wasn’t sure that advice to stay where she was had been infallible as distinct from calling for mere religious submission.

The Orthodox: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously susceptible to Latin influence.

The Episcopalian: To demonstrate provisional willingness to meet the stern demands of radical inclusivity.

The Lutheran: There were too many sacraments on her side of the road.

The Calvinist: As a sure sign of predestination.

The Baptist: To look for a more promising way to maintain the verbal inerrancy of Scripture.

The Methodist: To remain chosen but not frozen.

The Non-Denominational Christian: Why not? Which side of the road one’s on means nothing in God’s eyes.

The Unitarian: To overcome one-sidedness.

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12 Responses to Why did the ecclesial chicken cross the road?

  1. What’s the response for the Anglo-Catholic?

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  2. Jonathan says:

    The Kierkegaardian: Because she was dizzy with freedom.

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  3. Paul says:

    Lutheran: The Freedom of the Chicken

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  4. Iain Lovejoy says:

    Church of England: there is no way the chicken would have ever left the middle of the road in the first place.

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  5. Basem says:

    The Coptic: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously susceptible to Byzantine influence and to look for a more sure way to protect the “one nature”.

    The “Infernalist”: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously corrupted by “the heresy of universalism”

    The “old calendarist”: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously corrupted by “the grand heresy of ecumenism”

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  6. Sherwood O. Jones says:

    Pat Buchanan: To take a job away from a hard-working American.

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