The Catholic: She wasn’t sure that advice to stay where she was had been infallible as distinct from calling for mere religious submission.
The Orthodox: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously susceptible to Latin influence.
The Episcopalian: To demonstrate provisional willingness to meet the stern demands of radical inclusivity.
The Lutheran: There were too many sacraments on her side of the road.
The Calvinist: As a sure sign of predestination.
The Baptist: To look for a more promising way to maintain the verbal inerrancy of Scripture.
The Methodist: To remain chosen but not frozen.
The Non-Denominational Christian: Why not? Which side of the road one’s on means nothing in God’s eyes.
The Unitarian: To overcome one-sidedness.
Eclectic Orthodoxy 
What’s the response for the Anglo-Catholic?
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Can you come up with a clever Anglo-Catholic response? 🙂
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Because the Novus Ordo co-opted the traditional mass.
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I would suppose that Anglo-Catholics by definition don’t cross the road.
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Well, Newman crossed the road and claimed that he was staying on the same side of the road, until he stayed on the opposite side of the road while claiming to cross the road. Subsequent chickens have done either one or the other.
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The Kierkegaardian: Because she was dizzy with freedom.
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Lutheran: The Freedom of the Chicken
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Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
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Church of England: there is no way the chicken would have ever left the middle of the road in the first place.
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John Henry Newman: An unfortunate end for the chicken.
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The Coptic: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously susceptible to Byzantine influence and to look for a more sure way to protect the “one nature”.
The “Infernalist”: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously corrupted by “the heresy of universalism”
The “old calendarist”: Because her side of the road was becoming dangerously corrupted by “the grand heresy of ecumenism”
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Pat Buchanan: To take a job away from a hard-working American.
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