Why Eclectic Orthodoxy? Simply because I find it is impossible for me to be anything but an eclectic Christian believer. This may be a tragic flaw in my character. All I know is that I have been on a spiritual journey–from Anglicanism to Catholicism to Eastern Orthodoxy . . . and hopefully, by God’s grace, to the Kingdom. I have been retired from parochial ministry for many years. My wife has been afflicted with a chronic and debilitating medical condition for over fifteen years. She is my ministry.
Perhaps one day I will share my journey at a deeper, more personal level. It is a journey filled with blunders, sins, wounds, regrets, tragedy, profound suffering, and spiritual darkness. I cannot say that I have gained any special wisdom. I certainly have not acquired greater knowledge. I used to read theology ravenously. I had even reached a point where I thought I was fairly fluent in the language of faith. For a few years I wrote a now defunct blog, Pontifications. Through the culpable negligence of those who hosted it, the original Pontifications has been lost; but some of the constructive pieces that I wrote for it have been archived at a resurrected Pontifications. But God has broken me. The Pontificator is dead. Much of what I thought I once knew has been, quite literally, stripped from me. Fourteen years ago I became incapable of reading theology of any sort. When I tried to read a theological article or book, the words did not make sense. I almost lost my faith. I spent a few years in the wilderness. Suddenly the desire to read theology again returned. It was as if a cloud slowly lifted from my mind and I could finally make sense, at least a bit, of the theological reflections and arguments of others. My brain has not returned to its previous level of functioning, but I am finally enjoying theology again.
Why have I begun this blog? To share with others my theological ruminations on the Eastern Orthodox faith. I have learned one thing since becoming Orthodox: Orthodoxy is theologically more diverse than most Orthodox want to admit. The boundaries established by the Ecumenical Councils are clear and well-defined, but when it comes to other theological issues and questions, Orthodox theologians often disagree, sometimes quite contentiously. I quickly learned that when an Orthodox Christian prefaces his remarks with “The Fathers teach …” what you will probably end up hearing is not what the Fathers really did teach or what the Holy Orthodox Church authoritatively and irreformably teaches but rather one person’s very fallible, and occasionally ignorant, opinion, cloaked in the rhetoric of infallible dogma. “The Fathers teach” is the Orthodox equivalent to the evangelical pronouncement “The Bible teaches” and the Catholic pronouncement “The Church teaches.” These appeals to authority in order to preemptively close debate can be quite frustrating. The Catholic Church has the Pope to resolve doctrinal controversies, though anyone acquainted with Catholic theology knows that Catholic theologians have no compunction about disagreeing with the Pope on just about anything and everything. But who authoritatively speaks for the Orthodox Church? Like any other Orthodox priest, I have my favorite Eastern theologians—Alexander Schmemann, John Zizioulas, John Meyendorff, Hilarion Alfeyev, Kallistos Ware, John Breck, John Behr, Paul Evdokimov—but I have been bluntly told by more than one Orthodox priest that they are unreliable, progressive, heterodox, modernist, ecumenical. Oh my.
One thing for sure. I do not speak for the Orthodox Church. Hence the title of my blog, “Eclectic Orthodoxy.” Not only has my comprehension of the Orthodox faith been strongly influenced by Eastern theologians regarded as suspect by traditional Orthodox, but it continues to be influenced by the Western theologians who decisively formed my theological understanding of the catholic faith over the past thirty-five years—Thomas F. Torrance, Robert W. Jenson, E. L. Mascall, Robert Wilberforce, Martin Luther, Karl Barth, Joseph Ratzinger, Stanley Hauerwas, George Lindbeck, Herbert McCabe, and perhaps most importantly of all, C. S. Lewis.
So I have decided to begin reading the Church Fathers, beginning with St Gregory the Theologian. Why St Gregory? Because if he ain’t Orthodox, nobody is. In the Orthodox Church he is regarded as one of the Three Holy Hierarchs, along with St Basil the Great and St John Chrysostom. He has also been given the privileged title “Theologian,” a title that he shares only with the Apostle John and St Symeon. In the Latin Church St Gregory is acknowledged as one of the four Great Doctors of the Eastern Church. His writings decisively and formatively shaped the Church’s teachings on the doctrine of the Trinity, the divinity of the Holy Spirit, the hypostatic unity of the person of Christ, and theosis. Who better to learn the Orthodox faith from than St Gregory the Theologian?
There is one other reason I have decided to begin blogging again—for the sake of my sanity. On 15 June 2012 my second son Aaron died by suicide. His death has shattered my life and the lives of my wife and children. On June 22nd I preached his funeral homily and prayed the committal over his casket. Aaron’s death has changed and traumatized me at the core of my being, in ways that I have not yet begun to fathom. On most days I am overwhelmed by sorrow and grief. Curiously, only two things seem to provide some measure of respite—walking my dog, Tiriel, and theological reading. And so I continue to read St Gregory, for my sake and for the sake of my beloved son, Aaron Edward Kimel. Memory eternal.
And so for what it is worth, I will begin sharing with you my ruminations on the Church Fathers and other theologians. I can only offer my fallible, provisional opinions. I am neither a patristic scholar nor systematic theologian. I welcome discussion, analysis, criticism, scholarly documentation. I only ask one thing from you—civility. I have no interest in violently rehashing the polemical debates of past and present. If apologetics is your burning interest, then there are many internet forums and blogs you can visit. And I certainly have no desire to defend my orthodoxy against self-appointed guardians of doctrinal purity who deem me a heretic. My primary purpose here is to understand and learn from the men and women whose writings I will be discussing on this blog. Perhaps you would like to join in this conversation.
Fr Aidan (Alvin) Kimel
(email: tigana99 {at} hotmail.com)
May our Lord and saviour, give you the Grace to follow His holy will. Along with the prayers for Aaron and his ‘eternal memory’!
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Fr. Al: Love the blog. Look forward to keeping up with it.
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Remember a very stimulating dinner conversation with you and an RC prof of history at Roberto in the Bronx. We were attending the “Orthodox Readings of Augustine” conference at Fordham in 2007. Blessings, Aidan/Al. Charles
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Al – I am so sorry about Aaron’s death, especially that it was suicide. That must have been a very difficult homily to give. I pray that you and the rest of your family will be put back together from the shattering. There will be bits missing and glue protecting some areas thoroughly, but you will be OK.
I’m not sure you and I ever actually met back in the MD days – I worked at the bish’s office in Bmore, and one of my co-workers, Denise, went to your church. I was glad to see you as one of the original Bmore Declaration writers; I was sorry that you were one of the authors who kicked the dust off their shoes and headed elsewhere, though I understood why. I worked at that office from late 84 to late 86, leaving shortly before the mess w/ the assisting bishop. It seems like ancient history now.
I hope I’ll be able to get to this blog! I’ve liked what I’ve read so far.
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Glad to know you are engaged in holy conversations again. With prayers and affection, Ephraim
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Fr. Al, as a recent convert to the Orthodox faith–it took me almost six years to get here–I’ve been loath to abandon my western heritage and concerns, though it would seem that some people in the church would love for us all to live as 18th century Russian peasants. Like you, I’ve also noted the fundamentalist tendencies, especially among some converts, to Protestantize the Orthodox faith into a closed system, rather than allowing it to be what it is: a path into deepening mystery, into the experience of union with Christ.
Some years ago, it was explained to me that moving to Orthodoxy would be like swimming from the river’s mouth into the great sea beyond. I see this new blog of yours as a current flowing in that direction and look forward to reading along. Isn’t this the beauty of our faith–unity in diversity, a creative tension between the gift of Tradition and the mystery of existence, together with the blessing to work out our salvation with fear and trembling?
May Aaron’s memory be eternal, and may you (and all of us) know with ever-increasing sureness the mercy and goodness of God.
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Thanks, Cameron.
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Cameron, thank you for your kind words. And thank you to everyone above who have commented. Thank you especially for your prayers for my son Aaron.
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Fr. Kimel, we have never corresponded in any way, but I used to read your “Pontifications” blog. (I am a former Protestant and a Catholic convert and “revert.”)
Today, I have read your words here with great interest– and, at the end, learning about the death of your beloved son, I read with tears. I am so very sorry for your loss, Father. So deeply, deeply sorry. I will praying for the peace of your son’s soul and for the comfort of you and your family members.
I know, too well, the pain of the suicide of a close family member. I am not married and do not have children, but at nine years old, I lost my mother to suicide. There are still times of real pain and sadness for me, even now, thirty years later– but they have lessened, both in intensity and in occurrence. God has brought comfort and the will to continue. Please take care of yourself. You and your family will be in my fervent prayers.
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Fr. Kimel, as an old reader of Pontifications, I’m happy to see you blogging again, though I’m deeply grieved to hear about your son. Memory eternal for your son. May the Mother of God keep you and your family. I’ll be reading.
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Father, bless. Aaron Edward memory eternal!
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Father Aidan: Welcome back to the blogosphere! I am sorry to hear about your son Aaron. May light perpetual shine upon him.
Bill
(formerly An Anxious Anglican)
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Father Kimel — Asking your blessing, and offering my prayers. I was part of your Pontifications audience in 2003/2004 when I was being drawn from the Episcopal church to the Orthodox Church (after spending my 20’s in Peter Gilquist’s Evangelical Orthodox Church). Although I could not see myself becoming Catholic, I felt a duty to consider the Catholic Church’s claims. After months of intellectualizing and raking over church history, I finally concluded that both East and West make compelling claims that cannot be disproved on their own terms, and that my decision had to be based on my own sense of what the “right church” should look like — a sense that was no doubt already influenced by 10 years in the Orthodox orbit. And I suppose it should be like that. Our hearts are made to be taught and then to act on what they have learned. My wife has been Catholic her whole life, and for her that church is so deeply “home” that she cannot imagine being orthodox.
Anyway, I am so sorry for your losses in life, Father, but I am glad to encounter again someone who in the past provided me a stady lamp-post.
Wishing you well.
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Thank you Fr. Kimel. Your words resonate deeply within me. I am searching not for the dogma and doctrine of right answers but the life to which that dogma and doctrine point. Our son died about three years ago. May his soul, the soul of your son, and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Death has, for me, made theology and life more real and beautiful than the often simplistic quoting of the Fathers, the Church, the Bible, or the Tradition can answer.
God’s peace be with you and your family.
Mike+
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Father, you break my heart. But I mean that in a good way. It is surely by the grace of God that you have survived what you have been through to not only still believe but to also venture into blogging again. I have followed your journey since the final years of Pontifications. I remember trying to argue you out of leaving Anglicanism, obviously to no avail. I am still an Anglican, who is both restive as to our leadership but also truly at home within that tradition particularly with the liturgy. But I will always have an ear for what you have to say, especially now that you have gone through such a fire to emerge on the other side. As always, I pray for the best for you and your family. May God bless you and your new blog. Welcome back.
PS. You may know me as StayinAnglican, a long time member of Stand Firm. But that handle was chosen to express my defiant pride in the Anglican Tradition. Its fine for over there, but not so much over here where I am a guest. So I will go with one a little less contrary for when I am visiting your new internet home.
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Hello, I just stumbled across your site. I really like all the articles on St. Isaac. I am a recent catechumen (Bulgarian Orthodox diocese). I live in Roanoke VA, & go to church at St. Innocent in Salem VA. Are you still in the Roanoke area? just curious…
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Yes, James, I still live in Roanoke. Please give my best to all the folks at St Innocent’s.
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I sure will Fr. Aiden. Do you have a congregation locally? I’d like to visit and say hi.
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Fr. Aidan,
I was an avid follower of Pontifications. We exchanged messages on a couple of occassions. And I remember all that fondly. I look forward to following this. I resonate with much of what you write here; you even name most of my theological guides! perhaps you can attend the CCET CONFERENCE and we could actually meet face-to-face. Salaam.
Dwight
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Hi Fr. Aiden,
I’ve been behind on my blog reading lately and hope to go back and read some of the posts I missed. I saw today that you are reading Lament for a Son for Holy Week. It is on my bookshelf – I read it a couple of years ago. I will re-read it with you this week (Lectio Divina style), with prayers for you, your wife and family.
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Father, I just want you to know that I really love your love for your reposed Son. When I consider the terrible loss I had upon holding my three beautiful still born grandchildren and having to let them go, and having to deal with my oldest sons seizures at 15 and my youngest son’s going in harms way twice with the Army in Iraq, I truly feel for your loss. May our Lord give you the strength to carry on as His servant and Father in the Faith to those who seek to grow in the grace and knowledge of what our wonderful Lord, God, and Savior Jesus Christ wants us to share together.
.
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Fr Kimel, I appreciate your blogging. Grace be with you
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I saw your collection on Scribd and loved it. Then a friend had mentioned how great this blog was but today I connected the two after seeing some posted comments with your name! I thought, man I need to know this A. Kimel guy. Piss em’ off, heterodox or not! Your approach is great and I say that as someone who enjoys abrogation as a close second to love (to my shame, yes). Thank you.
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Given TF Torrance’s friendship with John Zizioulas and the giant icon of St. Athanasius the man kept in his study and the fact that the Orthodox priests of Edinburgh (one of whom is a Greek with a PhD in Patristic theology) hold his memory in high regard — I think he’s among the western theologians ‘safe’ for Orthodox reading!
I’m interested to dig into your visions of Eclectic Orthodoxy, Fr Aidan! 🙂
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I corresponded with TFT for over twenty years. He always replied to every letter I sent him. I also had the opportunity to meet with him privately on two occasions up at Princeton. He was a exceptionally gracious, as well as brilliant, man, and he loved the Lord. His Trinitarian Faith remains one of my favorite books. Did you know that he was made an honorary protopresbyter by Archbishop Methodios Fouyas of the Greek Orthodox Church?
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I didn’t know that he was made an honorary protopresbyter! That’s very cool.
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I am so interested in this regard for Torrance. It’s been more than ten years ago, before I converted to Orthodoxy, that I heard about him on the Mars Hill Audio Journal, and at that time his theology seemed in line with what I was learning about Orthodoxy. I had put his books on my wish list, but never got around to them. It’s wonderful to hear that he had this very personal and honored connection to the eastern Church.
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I have attempted to find you a number of times since Pontifications went down. I can’t believe I stumbled on to the blog (I googled “conscious non being.”
I look forward to catching up. I am saddened to hear of your loss. I cannot imagine the crucible you live in after the loss of your son. You and your family and your ministry will be in my prayers every day.
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Father, I find your about section itself to be an inspiration. I wanted to share some quotes from a blog of mine, but ill just share the blog. I think you’ll find it as refreshing as I did and may God help us to be auch Christians:
http://orthodoxruminations.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/things-i-love-to-hear-from-intellectually-honest-humble-christians/
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Thank you, Jonathan, for your kind words and for the link to your article. Like you, I have strong religious convictions, but the challenge facing me is how to speak of them and argue about them without (a) being rude and obnoxious and (2) falling into ideology. Ideology is easy. All one has to do is adopt a “system” and argue it to the death. I remember one professor of mine in college remarking about me, “Al, one thing about you–you will argue your position till the cows come home, no matter how strong the counter-evidence” (rough paraphrase). I think that goes back to my debate days in high school. Not only have I often appeared foolish, ignorant, and closed-minded; but I have also hurt people by my incivility and lack of pastoral concern.
But God is too important, and too incomprehensible, to allow oneself to fall into ideology and a destructive dogmatism. IMHO. I am trying to retire from ideology … trying.
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I agree, Father. I have come to see that life isn’t black and white. It is black, white, and gray. It is very paradoxical. I think we are all too often binary. Not that that is bad, but that we ignore the paradox. We become ideological as you said. I was like this, but thankfully I’m beginning to grow out of it with wise men like you and Father Stephen Freeman in my life. Elton Trueblood once said, “One of the best contributions which Christian thought can make to the thought of the world is the repetition that life is complex. It is part of the Christian understanding of reality that all simplistic answers to basic questions are bound to be false. Over and over, the answer is both-and rather than either-or. ”
We must learn to wrestle. Those who don’t like to wrestle with the paradox (which should be no Orthodox since we are all about paradox) end up being ideological and binary. we must live in the in-between of the black and white. it is a very tough issue. thank you for your inspiration to not be like that Father. And for more on the binary stuff I refer you to my Anglican buddy’s fantastic blog from which I stole the Trueblood quote:
http://carsontclark.com/uncategorized/24182/binary-categorization
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I deeply relate to your sorrow. My eldest child may be killing herself with alcoholism. The anguish you have had and that I have is bitter, grey, dismal, saturating. May God bless our children, and us.
Gratefully,
Marianne Bacon
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From the Western theologians you list above…What books in particular from each author did you find the most insightful?
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Greetings. Here’s my list of favorites:
Thomas F. Torrance: The Trinitarian Faith
Robert W. Jenson: The Triune Identity
E. L. Mascall: Christ, the Christian and the Church
Robert Wilberforce: The Doctrine of the Holy Eucharist
George Lindbeck: The Nature of Doctrine
Herbert McCabe: God Still Matters
Stanley Hauerwas: After Christendom
Joseph Ratzinger: Eschatology
Martin Luther: Luther’s Works (vol. 37)
Karl Barth: Church Dogmatics (II/2)
Hope this helps.
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Thanks Fr. Aidan for putting that list together so quick. What about significant titles by the Eastern theologians you mention?
On another note, are you still part of ROCOR. I’m an Anglican deacon.
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My favorite Orthodox titles:
Alexander Schmemann, The Eucharist
John Zizioulas, Being as Communion
John Meyendorff, Byzantine Theology
Hilarion Alfeyev, Christ the Conqueror of Hell
Kallistos Ware, The Orthodox Way
John Breck, Scripture in Tradition
John Behr, The Nicene Faith
Paul Evdokimov, Orthodoxy
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Fr. Kimel:
Thank you for sharing the funeral homily for your son.
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1. So sorry to hear of Chris’s condition. Please assure her of my prayers for her.
2. Are you familiar with Robert Capon’s book Exit 36?
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Hi, Ronn. Good to hear from after all these years. Thank you for your prayers.
I have not read Exit 36, though I did read a bunch of Capon way back when. He has some great stuff that is particularly useful for us who are preachers. I love how he always takes us back to the unconditional love of God.
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Fr. Aidan, So good to see your blog. You may not recall but the two of us conversed a number of times quite a few years ago. Thank you for sharing of your self in the way you have here and may the God of all Mercy and Love bless and keep you and yours.
David Terwilliger+
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What exactly is “Western Rite Orthodoxy” and how does it differ from the rest of Eastern Orthodoxy?
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Here is an article on Western Rite Orthodoxy that you may find helpful. Also check out the Antiochian Western Rite website.
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So like statues or iconoclasts? Purgatory? Don’t know too much about the structure of Anglican or Roman Catholic liturgies other than that.
Is chanting done in Western Rite Orthodox liturgies?
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Fr. – I have great appreciation for your theme of borrowing from the “Most Interesting Man in the World” ad campaign. Theology should be done with a smile, and at least if we don’t begin that way, to let our ruminations and prayers end along those lines is well done. Tears are good, too, but tears that lead to gratitude – especially as born in dedication to bring love and laughter to others… even more. I see a parallel between these lines, the Dos Equis ads, and an Orthodox love for Augustine as an appreciation for the unwritten and unknown prayers of the heart that save us from the tracks we leave in the sands. Professor Albert Rossi (St. Vlads) has a wonderful line that applies not just as he uses it, but reflexively, retroactively, and beyond: “Be gentle with yourself”. May you find solace in your ruminations, prayers, and journey for you, your family and all of us.
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Apologies. I’ve used the word “iconoclast” to describe icons in the past. Have now been corrected that this means to “destroy icons” whereas the proper term I was looking for was “iconodoulia”.
I read the homily to your son. It is my opinion that if God is real, your son is now resting there with him waiting for his body. It seems fishy to me to think that one who spent his life searching found absolutely nothing in the end.
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Fr. Kimel,
My thoughts, sympathies and prayers are with you and your family and for your son Aaron. I am sorry for your loss. My oldest son is also named Aaron and due to some sinful choices on my part, we are now estranged. Even with the sorrow I experience at this earthly separation, I cannot fathom the depths of the loss you and your family endures. Please know that in faith I share also in the hope of God’s mercy, for me and my son, and you and yours.
In Him,
Bill
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Thank you, Bill.
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Fr Aidan,
My wife recently came across your blog post “Universalism: What are the odds.” Anyway, I became a Universalist/Universal Restorationist, etc, November 2012, my wife is not ready to make the leap. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the post and I have perused around a little and will continue to peruse, but I do not have a lot of time to comment. However, I would be remiss if I did not post a link to Waclaw Hryniewicz’s book The Challenge of Our Hope: Christian Faith in Dialogue at http://www.crvp.org/book/Series04/IVA-32/front.htm as it includes the two chapters that you have referenced on Soteriology of Universalism and St Isaac the Syrian. As you can see, he also has a chapter on Julian of Norwich/Thomas Merton.
Much blessings to you,
William
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Thank you for the link to Hryniewicz’s book.
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Fr. Aidan,
Thank you for sharing all of your insightful thoughts on this blog. I am in the process of converting to Eastern Orthodoxy, and one of the things I really love about the tradition is the room for real discussion and difference on many theological matters, especially things such as the possibility of universal salvation. I admit that deep in my heart I hope and have faith and trust that God, in His infinite wisdom and love, will redeem all to him (the whys and hows are beyond me, though I like to imagine at times what this would look like.)
Having said these things, I am sometimes fall into the, “If we’re all going to be saved, what’s the point of doing all that stuff like going to church and all of the things that church asks of us?” conundrum. I have my own thoughts, but there must be people wiser than I who have touched on this. I know in my heart that there is something to be gained by drawing closer to God in this life, but I’m having difficulty expressing it. Do you know of any specific resources which speak to the necessity of Christianity and the Church in light of the potential salvation of all?
Bless you,
Loo
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Welcome, Loo, both to EO and EO.
The hope for the ultimate salvation of all is, as you no doubt know, a minority opinion within Orthodoxy. Some will tell you quite bluntly that it is a heretical opinion.
You ask, if all will be ultimately saved, what’s the point of faith, Church, liturgy, and so on? St Paul addresses this question in his Epistle to the Romans, chapter 6. Meditate on that for a while and see if the answer comes to mind.
May I also suggest that you read my series of postings on St Isaac the Syrian, beginning with “Preaching the Astonishing Love of God.”
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Thank you, Father!
I will remain with a quiet and humble hope for the salvation of all, but I think I will be in good company. I will take some time to consider Romans 6, and read your series.
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Interesting and very moving. THANK YOU
Sincerely
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Dear Fr. Kimel,
I am happy to meet you again from another quondam blogger (“Three Hierarchies”). My deepest sympathies on your loss. Every body’s pain is different and knows its own medicine, but in a similar (but lesser) agony, I have found Harriet Beecher Stowe’s “The Minister’s Wooing” (based on also losing her son) to be both cathartic and comforting.
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I just wanted to say you have a great blog. Peace and blessings.
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So glad I found your blog!
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hi Alvin, thanks for you, for your words, for your ‘ministry’. Our life is our ministry. You are like Jesus. Jozsef
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You’re a hero of mine, Fr. Aidan. Thank you for your ministry to Christ.
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Fr. Aidan, thank you!!!!! John M.
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Although I have been reading your blog for several months, via a friend’s post on Facebook, I have only now read the “about” article. I grieve for your loss of Aaron; I had suspected the cause might be suicide, a compulsion my husband toys with that I have been combating with my prayers, sympathy and love, especially in the last year. I thank you for sharing your wisdom, faith and hope with us. Your spiritual voyage through Anglican, Catholic and finally Orthodox denominations has given you a broad spectrum insight into Christianity. Your suggestions for further reading are most appreciated, and, finally, C. S. Lewis has been my favorite author since I first discovered him in the early 1970s. God bless you and keep you.
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thank you so much for this blog. I am a Fundamentalist become Pentecostal become Baptist become Catholic. Yeah, “eclectic” seems to fit the bill 🙂 May our Lord strengthen you now and always.
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I love that you say your wife is your ministry. I am sorry for the loss of your son. It has not been an easy journey for you. I pray from here on end, you will find life to be full of blessings and the road softer under your feet. I was raised by a Catholic mother and an Orthodox father neither of whom were religious but I have always found the differences in faiths to be interesting. Glad to have found you here on WordPress.
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God bless holy, humble, and rational people, god bless you Aiden Kimel.
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May God send you comfort dear one. Suffering can, if we let it, turn our energies toward our journey toward God.
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Fr Kimel, have you tried retrieving the old Pontifications documents using the Internet Archive WaybackMachine ( https://archive.org/web/ )?
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Yes, but only with very partial success. Some company quickly bought up my URL addresses for the blog, with the result that Wayback will not make its archives available. At one point I even tried to buy the old address, but the company wanted an exorbitant price. Sigh.
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+Aidan, what a wonderful website…thank you. It’s filled with rich things. God’s keeping as you care for your wife. May God grant you peace in the middle of it all.
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Hullo! I’ve been reading what you’ve been writing without knowing who you were. (Though, I mean, how much do we really know the people around us? Or ourselves?) Anyway, I was reading the argument underneath your most recent Universalist post when I realized you were a priest. That made me really happy. Sometimes I think priests have their opinions and everything’s settled for them. I forget they’re human and they learn and learn and learn like I do. Very rarely have priests opened up their mind for me to peer into. I don’t usually get to see the wheels turn. Please keep writing. I hope you, your wife, your children and your dog have a nice Lent. 🙂 ❤
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Dear Father, You may recall we knew each back in your Maryland days when I was Rector of Timothy’s, Catonsville, and I enjoyed and admired your courage and writings. I was vaguely aware of your spiritual journey but not your family travails and my heart and prayers are with you. From another priest, I recently found your blog. May the Lord continue to bless your writing.
In Christ,
Sudduth Rea Cummngs+
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Of course I remember you, Sudduth. Thank you for getting in touch and for your kind words.
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Dear Fr, Aiden,
Sorry for the lose of your son. First time visitor and came across some of your articles from a comment on a blog post at http://www.calledtocommunion.com.
What a journey! In a sense, unique. I must admit that I love the Orthodox Church. I’m a cradle Catholic and plan to die Catholic. Do you have any incite or information on the upcoming Ecumenical Council called for in 2016, in Constantinople? Will unity with the Catholic Church be discussed?
Just interested.
In Christ,
Ron
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Ron, thank you for your kind words.
Regarding the Great Council, you may find this article of interest: http://goo.gl/McfyoE.
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Thanks Fr. Aiden,
I hope they at least touch upon the unity question. It hurt to hear “except Rome.” I’ll keep my crossed. I’ve listened to several Fr, Thomas Hopko podcasts on this subject. Its going to take some chatestropic to bring about unity. It may be beginning now in the Middle East.
In Christ,
Ron
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Dear in Christ, Fr. Aidan–
We have a particular prayer list on our Altar for suicides. I’ll be adding your son to it.
Have to confess I didn’t get the “Hellfire Club” piece. I sense it was a very rarefied literary
spoof that sailed right over my head.
In any case, may the Lord hold you and your Matushka in the hollow of His Hand.
Beannacht–
Fr,. James Rosselli
St. Joseph of Arimathea Orthodox Church
and House of Prayer
La Porte IN
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Fr James, you weren’t the only one to not get the Hellfire Club joke. I should have provided some context for it. Oh well. Sometimes the magic works and sometimes …
Thank you for your prayers for my son Aaron. I miss him more than I can say. The anniversary of his death is next Monday, June 15th.
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Hi Fr. Aidan,
I just read your Lamentation. I wanted to let you know that I am still prayerfully mindful of the loss you and your family sustained – for it was then that I “met” you and began learning from Orthodoxy. (Strange how experiences intersect like the threads of a tapestry…)
Thank you for having the courage to write of your experience. You may be helping to save a life. As a psychologist, I talk to many people who contemplate suicide and so often they are no idea how deep and lasting is the pain they leave behind. They can only think of the pain they want to escape. Perhaps someone will read what you have written and realize that they simply cannot do that to another person, no matter how much they are in pain themselves.
Just a few days ago, someone asked me to pray for a friend who committed suicide. I had quite a deep spiritual experience with this. I will not write of it here – but only say that it led me to believe, as I told you I experienced with Aaron, that he is all right.
May the love of the risen Christ be with you and your family now and always.
Mary Benton
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Dear Fr. Kimel: Not often do I leave a comment the first time I read someone’s blog information. But your’s offers authenticity and I identify on many levels, both with the impact of suicide on loving family members and its impact on one’s faith, but also the journey of spiritual understanding as you describe it, one that Ill-defined once one begins to wrestle with the layers of Christianity and finds that religion/belief cannot put God in a box nor do our beliefs contain so easily and comfortably. It seems to me that an observation tells us that an honest look with an innocent projection is where freedom of faith begins to blossom. I am an evangelical who has a great appreciation for Anglican, Catholic, and Orthodox traditions. I, as well, was stripped clean of my beliefs so that God could bring me to “God alone” for my sustaining nourishment. I was blocked by my short-sightedness. Your blog was shared with me today by my Orthodox cousin. Last September on my blog I posted a remembrance concerning my sister whom we lost to suicide. My cousin saw similarities in what we have both experienced, and she thought of me while reading yours. My sister was thirty-three when we lost her. Should you wish to read my tribute about her, you can find it on my blog as one of my most frequented posts at nlbrumbaugh.com. I am sorry for the loss of your son. Peace to you and your loved ones. Norma Brumbaugh
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Thank you very much, Norma. May the Lord bless you and yours.
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I can’t even begin to articulate how deeply your autobiographical comments have resonated with me; thank you for your honesty, and God bless you.
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Dearest Father, Your blessing! I have recently discovered you and have been following you closely since. I have been most moved by your personal story and cross. If it is not too painful for you, would you please on my last blog entry on a child’s loss? https://orthodoxcityhermit.wordpress.com/2015/09/17/heartbreaking-anatomies-of-loss-death-mourning-iexemption/
Not necessarily in a public manner. Such an approach to mourning and loss is profoundly un-Christian as far as I am concerned, and adds further sorrow to those afflicted, but maybe I do not know what I am talking since I have never experienced such a profound loss. Thank you and God bless you.
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Just stumbled across this blog by ‘accident’ and feel so drawn to it, such resonance that I wonder if it may be one of those ‘accidents’ that are the hand of God.
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I’ve been meaning to say for some time-I love your blog and very much appreciate your contributions. Thank you!
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Hi. You quote Opperwall’s dissertation on the Holy Spirit in the work of Nazianzus. How did you get hold of this? And how would one reference it?
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Been reading you off and on since you were Episcopalian. You are a remarkable gift to the church. God bless you, your wife, and the memory of your son.
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Like so many, I have followed your story for a long time. You are a big help. Thank you for your courage and honesty.
Fr Kevin Holsapple (Episcopal Church)
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Fr Aidan Kimel – Are you no longer on this blog? Don’t know any of the people posting. Please let me know if you have retired or died (ha!ha!ha!).
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I am still alive and occasionally kicking.
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Father, I came to your blog after reading your comments at monachos.com, I just wanted to tell you how inspiring your thoughts and words are to me, I’m currently in a great distress trying to choose the right Christian denomination, and also struggling with the thoughts about universal salvation. I thank God there are people like you who are constantly questioning dogmas and searching for the truth while being firmly rooted in the spirit of Christ. This is what true Orthodoxy should be about. God bless you!
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Fr. Aiden, I remember the old Pontifications blog, and I had a good time posting there – even though my theological views were not popular with some people. May God grant you many years!
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Just wanted to say I find it interesting as I continue my journey (toward orthodoxy or Orthodoxy) that many of the topics I’ve been looking for via search engines lead me to your site. It’s happening with an increasing frequency so thought I’d say thank you for laying bare what is in your heart, soul and mind.
I look forward to going back through the archives but know that your words are reaching the right people at the right time.
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It remains the same: tigana99@hotmail.com (it’s at the bottom of this page)
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Lovely to find your blog – I’m looking forward to reading more! But so very sorry to hear of your son, and the others who have commented here on their loss. A dear friend of mine found this poem very helpful in a similar situation:
FOR THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF A SUICIDE.
As you huddle around the torn silence,
Each by this lonely deed exiled
To a solitary confinement of soul,
May some small glow from what has been lost
Return like the kindness of candlelight.
As your eyes strain to sift
This sudden wall of dark
And no one can say why
In such a forsaken, secret way,
This death was sent for …
May one of the lovely hours
Of memory return
Like a field of ease
Among these gravelled days.
May the Angel of Wisdom
Enter this ruin of absence
And guide your minds
To receive this bitter chalice
So that you do not damage yourselves
By attending only at the hungry altar
Of regret and anger and guilt.
May you be given some inkling
That there could be something else at work
And that what to you now seems
Dark, destructive and forlorn,
Might be a destiny that looks different
From inside the eternal script.
May vision be granted to you
To see this with the eyes of providence.
May your loss become a sanctuary
Where new presence will dwell
To refine and enrich
The rest of your life
With courage and compassion.
And may your lost loved one
Enter into the beauty of eternal tranquillity,
In that place where there is no more sorrow
Or separation or mourning or tears.
From “To Bless The Space Between Us” (a.k.a. “Benedictus”) by John O’Donohue (C) 2007
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Father Aidan:
I really appreciate your blog, but as of late it seems to be inundated by commercials, some of which seem way out of sync with the blog. Just noting!!
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I’m sorry to hear that. I use the free version of WordPress and don’t have any control over the advertisements.
Now if one of my readers were willing to pay the annual $50 fee, I could upgrade the blog to the personal plan and get rid of all the advertisements. 🙂
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Hi Fr. Aidan,
Sorry to hear of your injury but glad the Jesus prayer is alive in your heart. Be well and know that my prayers are with you.
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I started following Eclectic Orthodoxy on facebook. I’m not entirely sure how I found you/ who linked me to you. I’ve been slowly, very slowly, too slowly, trying to strengthen my knowledge of theology while I find myself so upset with the current state of affairs in the RCC. I don’t think I ever received proper formation even though I was raised in a Catholic family and went to Catholic school (if anything my school was a reversal of formation.) Today was the first time I clicked on the About section of the blog and your story was a gut punch. I have two sons. It is, indeed, unfathomable, to contemplate losing one. I will pray for you and your son and, as someone who has worked in the mental health field, I will pray that you will find some comfort in the idea that depression is a physical ailment as much as any other chronic affliction. It’s not a choice.
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Thank you for your blog. I look forward to reading from a civil man of the faith. I am currently on a faith journey in which major parts of what I believe about Christianity is changing or being challenged. Your blog posts seem to be written with grace, humility, sincerity, and non divisiveness. My mind at time feels chaotic, and your posts are relevant and written in a non-polemical (is that a word?) tone and style.
Thank you fr. Aidan,
May God bless us all with his peace.
With love in Christ,
Jeremy Kipper
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I am so sorry for your loss Father, and I hope that the spiritual reading that you have re-embarked upon will bring you comfort. I will keep you , your son Aaron and your family in my prayers, and I look forward to reading your reflections.
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I’m glad I stumbled upon this blog. It sounds like some of my own thoughts. I look forward to reading more.
ICXC
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Thankful for your witness brother. Even those coming from a Protestant, Evangelical, Chinese immigrant church can hear the deep wrestling and transformation from your journey. Shalom!
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Thankyou!
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I am pleased that I came across your blog, I long for Christ to grow and live in my heart, but run away from it at times. I will need to look up big words again i.e. dogma, est… as though a college graduate years ago, the gray matter has faded from lack of intellectual exercise. Life as is said gets complicated. I will begin by reading from where? Advice would be welcome as this blog seems to have an elaborate set of content.
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God’s power to do and consistent with the interest of all other created persons that would (weakly) bring it about, either at t or subsequent to t, that S freely repents of S’s sin and is thereby reconciled to God, https://www.reasonablefaith.org/writings/scholarly-writings/christian-particularism/talbotts-universalism
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Josef, you have placed your comment in the wrong place. Please copy it to an appropriate thread.
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My father killed himself in 2011 and my stepfather recently died from COVID just after the New Year. I recently came across your writing on an Orthodoxy Theodicy and it’s unbelievably satisfying to find a perspective that calls death for what it is as “intrinsically meaningless”. The cliches of “there’s a purpose for it” or “God meant it for good” as if there could be something inherently good about death has always bothered me but I couldn’t quite know what there was to contrast that view against until I read your article. I’m sorry to learn about your son taking his life. Suicide is truly horrible. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this blog. I look forward to exploring more.
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Fr. Aidan – I have recently read Hart’s “That all shall be saved,” Talbott’s “Inescapable Love of God,” and von Balthasar’s “Dare we hope,” in addition to some other perusing in MacDonald, your blog, etc. I find the arguments much more compelling than I originally anticipated I would, and although I have been steeped in “infernalist” views my whole life, I think it only fair that I should also read the most thoughtful critique of Christian universalism to better compare/contrast arguments. I had thought to do “The Devil’s Redemption,” but after reading some reviews on this, I’m not sure it is the best choice. Forgive me if this is already addressed on your blog, but I could not find it easily: of course acknowledging that you are a firm proponent of Christian universalism, which book(s) in your mind presents the strongest and most cogent arguments against universalism? Thank you for any suggestions.
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Greetings, Jonathan. I applaud your desire to be open-minded about this important topic. It’s important, therefore, to carefully assess the arguments put forward in defense of the doctrine of eternal salvation. I recommend Jerry Walls, Hell: The Logic of Damnation; Zachary Hayes, Visions of a Future; and Zachary Manis, Sinners in the Presence of a Loving God. Hell and the Mercy of God by Adrian Reimers has abeen recommended to me, but I have not read it.
I do not recommend The Devil’s Redemption for two reasons: (1) I do not trust McClymond’s treatment of first millennium Church history; (2) the issue ultimately must be decided on theological and moral grounds, not historical. But if you find you have extra time on your hands, by all means read McClymond, just as long as you also read Ramelli’s The Christian Doctrine of Apokatastasis. These two titles should keep you occupied for a decade or two. 😉
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Thank you very much for the quick response and recommendations! Your comments on McClymond make sense based on the several scholarly reviews I read too, so I think I won’t invest the time 🙂 I will check out the others you mention. Thanks for providing such a great resource in this blog and elsewhere (I learned of you from the Sacramentalists podcast). Grace and peace to you.
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“To see the good truly is to desire it insatiably; not to desire it is not to have known it, and so never to have been free to choose it.” ~ David Bentley Hart
See the Good truly
These words, these beautiful words
Insatiable me
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“To see the good truly is to desire it insatiably; not to desire it is not to have known it, and so never to have been free to choose it.” David Bentley Hart
Everytime I see these words the veil becomes much thinner, they leave me estatic, they set me free.
I am in awe of that moment when this thought crystallized in its authors mind.
These words and Augustines words in the first Confession: you made us for yourself . . Are exquisitely complementary.
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I think descriptor criteria imply a context in which the hypostasis is seen. Andrew Radde Gallwitz remarks that there is no common term for hypostasai. Ousia is _the_ common term.
I have a syntagmatic reason for favouring hypostajax.
I’ve just read your blurb on Gregory of Nyssa distinguishing ousia and hypostasis.
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Hello. I was curious of your thoughts on Theodore of Mopsuestia. I believe the Eastern Orthodox 5th Ecumenical council anathematized him, but am unsure. Thank you!
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Theodore of Mopsuetia’s status is controversial, as you know. He is revered in the Church of the East and is acknowledged by scholars as one of the great biblical exegetes and teachers of the early Church. He died in the peace of the Church in A.D. 428. That for me is sufficient. I do not believe in posthumous excommunications, nor do I believe that a dead theologian should be anathematized according to the doctrinal standards of a later era.
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