The Theistic-Personalist God has Existential Crisis

THE HEAVENS—Sources close to God reported Thursday that the Creator of the Universe and Author of Our Eternal Salvation suffered a crippling bout of existential dread this week, lying awake all night as He pondered His own immortality.

Anxiously drumming His fingers, the all-powerful being was reportedly unable to sleep as His mind raced with thoughts of the unfathomable nature of eternity, the relentless expansion of space and time, and His own never-ending existence.

“Is this all there is? I’m here now, 70 or 80 years go by, and then I’m still here—forever?” said God, staring up at the ceiling after a half hour of tossing and turning. “That’s horrible!”

(Read entire news report)

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6 Responses to The Theistic-Personalist God has Existential Crisis

  1. Hahahahahahahaha! 🙂 😀


  2. jrj1701 says:

    That reminds me of the song by Joan Osborne.


  3. tgbelt says:

    Too funny! Gotta repost that one!


  4. matushkamarychristine says:

    He should definitely pick a dog.


    • Speaking from a biased perspective as I happen to have a cat myself, I think he should pick a cat. BUT…dog happens to be God spelled backwards so it makes more sense for him to pick a dog instead of a cat. SO…I would have to agree with you.


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